Yes, I am one of those people who think that we should pay
more attention to important issues, and less attention to the frivolous and
non-consequential. Inattention and ignorance of important problems in the world
is a serious issue, but that’s not what this article is about.
Sure, people could be talking about the impact of their own
carbon footprint, or discussing the horrendous conditions in Palestine.
Instead, they are talking about a dress. Maybe it’s an interesting topic, maybe it’s just a brief diversion from heavy
issues, or maybe they are shallow. But, there’s more to it than that, because
people are doing more than just talking about it. They are arguing about it.
The internet is full of some version of, “The dress is
obviously (insert color of choice) and people who see (other color) are wrong.”
Often, such statements are not worded nearly so politely, even indulging in
cutting insults about the people in the other color camp. It has sparked heated
debates and worse.
This demonstrates a couple of common flaws in human nature.
First, it takes the issue of shallowness to a whole new level. Okay, maybe
there are good reasons to spend a little of your attention on a dress. And it’s
not harmful to spend a lot of your attention of a dress. But, arguing about it?
Getting angry? Resorting to name-calling of good friends or perfect strangers? It’s
just a dress, and it’s just a debate about the color. Is it really important
enough to justify such emotions and aggression, especially among some people
who don’t get nearly as upset about stories of death and destruction?
Perhaps an even more important question is how, and why,
such a thing could even become a topic of argument.
If two people see
something differently, one of them must be wrong. More specifically, if someone
sees something differently than you, they must be wrong (because, of course,
the way you see it is right). These basic assumptions are at the heart of
the tsunami of arguments, insults, and aggressive comments that have flooded
the internet.
Of course, not everyone posting about the dress is arguing.
Some color experts, graphic designers, doctors, scientists, and other people
merely find the topic interesting. There are many theories of what could make
the same image appear different colors to different people. They are discussing
ideas about age, eye health, computer monitors, color perception, and more. It
has prompted some to learn more about their own vision, and try to understand
why others see differently. These people are learning, contemplating, expanding
their minds, because they accept the fact that two people can see the same
thing differently. But, there are not enough of those people, and the
discussions are dominated by those who simply assume everyone must see things
the same.
It’s not about a dress. It’s about the ability to accept
other possibilities, other perspectives, the ability to comprehend and embrace
the fact that people can see things differently. If two people see something differently, one of them must be wrong.
More specifically, if someone sees something differently than you, they must be
wrong (because, of course, the way you see it is right). All too often,
these same assumptions are applied to topics far more serious than a dress. In
fact, some people live by them.
This may seem impossible to some, and obvious to others, but
it’s true: Someone else can perceive the same thing in a very different way than
you – and it doesn’t always mean they are lying, stupid, ignorant, or wrong.
Sometimes it just means their perspective, their reality, the angle they see
something from is different. And different is okay. Sometimes there is more
than one right answer, and sometimes even the right answer can be wrong when
viewed from a different angle. Your situation, conditions, perceptions,
illusions, knowledge, assumptions, and beliefs shape your reality. But, your
reality does not, can not, and should not shape anyone else’s reality.
When people reject anything that does fit with their own
fixed vision of the world, they generate anger, arguments, hate, and sometimes
even violence. And, their world remains the same, just a few shades darker for
the negativity they injected. When people are open to new ideas and
perspectives, they have the opportunity to learn and grow. They allow their
perception of reality to evolve and expand, incorporation the previously
unknown. Their lives become richer and their vision becomes more accurate,
because they no longer need blinders to filter out the “unacceptable.” They
tend to engage in discussions, exchanges of information that benefit others as
well as themselves. And, they seem to understand that it’s okay if someone else
sees a different color.
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